Gay Man Walking

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pennine way

 

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The Pennine Way

 431km/267 miles, 15 days, England to Scotland, The UK

             Watch as Gay Man Walking embarks on another adventure! This time down The Pennine Way, The United Kingdom's official first long-distance trail, running the length from the middle of England to just past the Scottish border. The Pennines are a major section of uplands in the UK, known as the backbone of the North, or as the spine of England, or to Ross as the "Interactive and Intensive Educational Seminar into the Lives of Sheep, and How to Avoid Their Excrement" Trail of the UK. He failed the seminar. Although at times he did feel like Mowgli from The Jungle Book did with his family of wolves, but he felt like that with sheep. They were his main companions. But unlike Mowgli who learned how to defend himself and hold composure like wolves do, he learned how to 1) eat off the ground wherever he was, 2) pee just beside himself and not care too much, and 3) tumble into the occasional stone fence when running away from that noise that spooked him in the bushes. Ah sheep, how he does not miss you. Actually he does and he doesn't; just like a proper family!

               Join him as he trudges for 15 days through the expansive and affronting moors, to reach the pub at the end, The Border Hotel, where he will hide inside of an equally expansive and affronting portion of cheesy chips to balance out what has just happened to him. Laugh with/at him as he deals with pink eye on day 1, an open ankle wound on day 2, is chased by aggressive sheep on day 4, watches a cow give birth then eat it's own placenta (nature is fun!) on day 10, and inhale flies on every single day of walking (as normal, but still worth mentioning as Ross never gets used to it). So apparently he's painting a picture of himself sustaining injuries, or meeting various animals in an array of ways; which yes, that is the theme - that and a massive barrel of finding the funny in the deep seriousness of all which he encounters along the trail (so, the norm).

                The ins-and-outs of his journey down the 431km "It Took Me Walking Over 45 Moors To Google What a Moor Actually Is" trail are here, for your entertainment, education, and misinformation. Who knows? Maybe through all the emotional confessionals, plethora of mistakes made, and overall doe-eyed enthusiasm Ross has for hiking most of the thing, you may gain some insight into what life could be like on trail, the Pennine Way in general, and how to bandage up a ankle injury with a mixture of toilet paper and hope.

                Feel free to send him a message here if you have any questions, comments, concerns, feedback, free money, pizza, or just want to tell him the answers to so many of the questions he asks about the nature he films yet know absolutely nothing about. Buckle in for a wild ride of emotions, wind (from both nature and Ross as he relies so heavily on fried pub food for fuel), and a hedgehog named Pumpkin. Be prepared to learn that the trail being nicknamed the Backbone of the UK may be misleading in that it is not one sloping gentle curve, but is that of a backbone that has been battered, buried for centuries, dug up by construction workers, blended, and put back together by a six year old child. So, hilly, tough, and similar to all Ross' art projects as a youth...Enjoy!

 
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directory

Day

1

Edale to Crowden
15.3 miles, 24.6 km

Part 1: 00:00

2

Crowden to Standedge
11.3 miles, 18.2 km

Part 1:

16:16

3

Standedge to Colden

16.9 miles, 27.2 km

Part 1:

27:19

4

Colden to Cowling

14 miles, 22.5 km

Part 1: 38:26

5

Cowling to Malham
18 miles, 29 km

Part 1: 49:23

6

Malham to Horton in Ribblesdale

14.2 miles, 22.9 km

Part 2: 00:00

7

Horton in Ribblesdale to Hardraw

14.8 miles, 23.8 km

Part 2: 05:43

8

Hardraw to Tan Hill

14.8 miles, 23.8 km

Part 2: 11:36

9

Tan Hill to Middleton in Teesdale

16.5 miles, 26.6 km

Part 2:

18:55

10

Middleton in Teesdale to Dufton

19.9 miles, 32 km

Part 2: 25:32

11

Dufton to Alston

20 miles, 32.2 km

Part 2: 33:18

12

Alston to Greenhead

16.7 miles, 26.9 km

Part 2: 42:59

13

Greenhead to Bellingham

21.5 miles, 34.6 km

Part 2: 50:19

14

Bellingham to Lamb Hill

23.1 miles, 37.2 km

Part 2: 1:00:54

15

Lamb Hill to Kirk Yetholm

16.3 miles, 26.2 km

Part 2: 1:08:56

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