Te Araroa

Start of South Island

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          “Head off the ever so comfortable road track," they said. “Take a left at the church”, they said. “It'll be rough trail at first but then taper off eventually”, they said.

            “Trip almost directly into HELL, fight through vines that fight back, lose, have to shimmy over a tree (as seen, this is not me taking a break) into a swamp of blackberry brambles and I assume the dead bodies of eons of hikers, follow footprints that you presume are the path until you realise they are your previous footprints and you are going in a circle, and then let nature do its thing by breaking your pair of headphones”, they said.

            No, actually they didn't say that last part, that's just what I did. Actually they didn't say really any of that, I just got lost and witnessed firsthand what it is like to have the board game Jumanji explode on you.